Chapter 2 - Effeminacy and Biblical Masculinity

As we are living in a feminist and effeminate culture, most people are uneasy with true masculinity and are ignorant about how it should look. There are two directions a boy can take apart from biblical masculinity: effeminacy and macho-like counterfeit masculinity.

In taking the effeminate role, he is taking a set of virtues which are not supposed to be his. With the macho-like counterfeit masculinity, he is adopting a set of pseudo-virtues, practices which are not virtues at all.

Boys should not, as a rule, play with dolls... and those who do have a problem. Most boys naturally see effeminacy as "yuck". Instruction and correction is necessary since boys do not how to make the distinction between that which should be mocked in themselves and that which must be honored in the girls.

Rolling around in the dirt is not the only way to show masculinity... as we've already seen, boys should be studying to become wise, studying to be a sage when he is old. That is not the same thing as wearing a frilly apron. Men can work indoors helping and leading with many domestic duties, though their focus will be different.

Fathers who are domineering will browbeat their sons into a pattern of cowering submission which is effeminate and then wonder why their sons do not follow their example. The reason is that their father would not permit it. He was not training his son; he was sitting on him.

On the other side of unbiblical masculinity is the counterfeit masculinity. This is a problem which occurs when people "glory" in masculinity. This type of masculinity excels at making excuses. It is a matter of pride rather than humble acceptance of responsibility.

One thing that threatens pride is any kind of failure, and the way insecure males deal with this is through making excuses. True masculinity accepts responsibility, period. Boys don't just do this naturally, they also learn it from their parents. Children (especially as seen in sports) don't have to stand up for themselves and their mistakes, their parents are often modeling these behaviors when "explaining" why the coach was wrong in his decision about their son. Boys must learn to say that they were wrong when they were wrong, and that they were responsible when they were responsible.

<"Future Men" by Douglas Wilson>